Organizational Killer: Leadership Insecurity

I talked with a friend yesterday who recently left a job. I was shocked and concerned to hear how the company and its culture had changed within a very short period of time. Over the course of 5 months communication went from full-disclosure to hidden agendas, from mission-minded to money-centered, from exciting to discouraging, and from encouraging to fearful and intimidating. What could bring on this hideous transformation in such a short time? This is the result of leadership insecurity. This leadership principle goes something like this: If things are dysfunctional at the top, it trickles down through the entire organization but, if things are healthy at the top, it too permeates the entire enterprise.

When a leader is insecure in his/her knowledge, capabilities, experience, relationship with stockholders and Board of Directors, or with other peers, disaster is headed their way. They are going to do whatever it takes to “prove” they are the boss and that they are in control — anything to bolster their self-esteem. Unknowingly, this spells death for the leader and, quite possibly, the organization.

3 Things Insecure Leaders “Kill“

1. They kill Community
2. They kill Culture
3. They kill the Company

What’s the Answer?
If you’re the insecure leader – Congratulations! At least you have recognized the fact that you are insecure. The leader who is not in touch with his/her self will be doomed to repeat the process. Take some time to reflect and pinpoint the area(s) of insecurity.
- Can knowledge or experience be gained in order to combat the particular area? Take an educational course; read a book; dig in and get your hands dirty.

- Do you feel like you’re trying to measure up to someone you are not? Don’t try to be anyone else. Face the reality–you never will be able to meet the perceived standard. Be yourself and if you do not like yourself, find out what you don’t like and change it. Seek professional help if you need to. There is no shame in asking for help. Admitting a weakness is certainly better than continuing down a destructive path of pride.

If you report to the insecure leader – Evaluate the kind of working relationship you have with him/her.
- Can you confront them about their behavior? If you’re fortunate to have an open and honest relationship with your boss, let them know what you have observed or been on the receiving end of. Let them know how it is impacting the department, division, or company. It does the leader no good if they blindly go about business from day-to-day and have no feedback regarding the trail of bodies they’re leaving behind.

- Should you leave? In some cases it may be that you have to get out of the environment. “Save yourself,” so to speak. This is by no means a simple decision and should not be a knee-jerk reaction either. Consider your options carefully and if there is no way out other than to remove yourself, do so accordingly.

If you manage the insecure leader – If you recognize this harmful trait within your direct report, you need to be upfront and let them know it needs changing. Be proactive and brainstorm or recommend solutions to get the leader back on a healthy track. It might be that the person is not cut out for leadership and should be removed. Be careful here and don’t just fire the individual. Once again, be upfront and let them know the severity of the situation. Work through it together for their good and yours.

If you’re about to hire a leader – Do your homework. Just because the candidate is a nice person and has a good sense of humor does not make them a leader. As the saying goes: “Measure twice and cut once” (see the second article on Common Sense Management). Do not let the need for a position dictate getting the right person for the job. Better to pass by a good candidate in order to find the best candidate.

Final Thoughts
Insecurity has been described as a war in an unhealthy mind. We all want healthy, thriving companies — who doesn’t? Those who lead must have a healthy balanced attitude and outlook. Take time to be introspective. Play to your strengths and be secure in who you are.

Related Links
- Common Sense Carrots
- The Leadership Lone Ranger is Dead
- No Jackets Required
- The 10 Commandments for Leadership
- Leadership Gardener

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Quotable Quote – Pat Lencioni

“Teamwork remains the one sustainable competitive advantage that has been largely untapped.”

- Pat Lencioni

Parallels – Cool New Upgrade Available

Ever since installing Parallels on my Intel-based Mac, I have enjoyed the program. When I show it to friends they get bug-eyed at the ease of use. Well, there has been a new release of the software. With this release come some significant virtualization abilities. The two most note worthy are called: coherence and transporter. If you’re an existing user the upgrade is free of charge.

The biggest update to the new version is Coherence, a feature that enables Mac users running Parallels to run and access Windows applications from their Mac desktops via virtualization rather than switching between operating systems.

The feature is activated when a user turns on “Coherence mode,” which hides the Windows desktop and integrates Windows applications into the Mac OS X desktop and application dock.

A statement from Parallels called the Coherence feature “completely customizable,” stipulating that when Coherence is enabled, users will be able to choose how to load and run Windows applications, as well as select display options for Windows features like the task bar and Start menu.

In addition to the Coherence update, the new version of Parallels includes another new feature called Transporter, which is concerned with simplified virtualization. If a PC owner is switching to a Mac, for example, but wants to keep his or her Windows settings and files intact, Transporter allows the entire software contents and settings of the PC to be moved directly to one of Parallels’ virtual machines without needing to reinstall Windows on the Mac.
- Caroline McCarthy (CNet News)

Related Links
- CNet News link
- Parallels Homepage

Quotable Quote – Walt Disney

“Too many people grow up. That’s the real trouble with the world, too many people grow up. They don’t remember what it’s like to be 12 years old. They patronize, they treat children as inferiors. Well I won’t do that.”

- Walt Disney

Amazing Grace (the Movie) is a Big Surprise

Several weeks ago I was invited to a screening of Amazing Grace, a dramatization based on the life of William Wilberforce (see synopsis below). I thought it would be fun to go but did not expect to be blown away. After all, it was a period piece and they tend to do poorer at the box office than action or popular family films.

Was I wrong!

Maybe it was the acting, or the content, or the personal connection but, the film caught me by surprise. Undoubtedly, it caught the box offices by surprise as well. Being only a limited release film (791 theaters nationwide), it landed firmly in the Top Ten for it’s opening weekend at number 6.

If you haven’t seen the movie, I suggest finding a theater near you that is carrying the film and then go and prepare to be surprised. Like me you may come out of the movie with all kinds of thoughts running through your head regarding modern day implications. This experience certainly makes me want to learn more about this driven and passionate man, William Wilberforce, who stood for abolition when it was not culturally popular.

Synopsis
From acclaimed director Michael Apted (The World is Not Enough, Coal Miner’s Daughter) comes Amazing Grace, a moving historical epic about the life of antislavery pioneer William Wilberforce. Amazing Grace follows Wilberforce’s career through his 20′s and 30′s, as he and his fellow humanitarians make the issue of slavery a talking point, not only in political circles, but also throughout the country. They wage the first modern political campaign, using petitions, boycotts, mass meetings and even badges with slogans to take their message to the country at large. (www.the-numbers.com)

Other Links
- William Wilberforce (Wikipedia)
- Ending Slavery: An Unfinished Business (PDF)
- Wilberforce University

Organizational Life Cycles

I first saw this grid at a CMA conference some time back and have shared it throughout the years. While there are certainly other charts and graphs available, I have discovered the simplicity of this one in regard to Leadership more applicable. I have also found it to be very stimulating for new and old business leaders alike. They often start evaluating where they are on the grid and start thinking of strategies to get them to where they want to be. See where you are in relation to the “sweet spot”. What will it take to get you there?

Note of interest: For as big a company as Microsoft is, they have done a fairly good job of allowing their business units enough freedom to be managed like fast growth companies. As a result, corporately, they revolve around the sweet spot which is indeed a challenge for most other companies of that size.

Under The Heat by The 77’s

As I have mentioned, I like thoughtful lyrics and good progressive musical orchestration. I got turned onto a band called the 77’s back in the mid-to-late 1980’s. The band has undergone several iterations over the years but Mike Roe has been the backbone from the very beginning. Personally, I like all the albums that Aaron Smith played drums and percussion on – that guy rocks.

I was recently reminded of one of their songs. It was poignant then and I find it to be just as poignant today. Although the song spawned out of the October 24, 1983 Beirut barracks bombing, I believe you’ll see several other levels that the song works on as well – most notably:
- Where we stand today in regards to Foreign policy
- 9/11 and current terrorist activities
- How we respond under pressure
- Who we truly are revealed to be when opposition hits our lives

Under The Heat (From All Fall Down)

Like a snap of the fingers
It was just that quick
The building had fallen
And shattered and
Melted under the heat

We found a buddy
Who was covered in blood
He kept trying to get up
And look
Lay down, lay down, lay
Down Marine
Under the heat

All our lives changing
Under the heat

“Take your cameras and
Get out of here”
“Forget it” said the C.O.
“You’re out of line,
You’re angry, I’m angry,
They’re angry,
Just do the job”
Under the heat

We stopped to listen for
Voices
And then we’d dig
With whatever we had
Listen and dig, listen
And dig, listen and dig
Under the heat

All our lives changing
Under the heat

Reaching through this
Curtain of fear
My arms are stretched
Beyond the limit
I take the heat from
Streaming tears
To bear the cold and
Walk out in it
Walk out in it

My plans for the future
Are a frozen picture
That has fallen and
Shattered and melted
Under the heat

All our lives changing
Under the heat

From the San Francisco Chronicle – Monday October 24, 1983
Papers fluttered in the gentle October breeze and a page from a pocket-sized Bible lay on the ground. It was opened to the book of Psalms. The passage said, “For they do not talk of peace, but against the quiet ones of the land they plot treacheries…”.

Who do you find yourself to be when “under the heat?”

Lyrics by Mark Tootle. All lyrics copyright © Fools of the World, Ltd.

Communicating Amongst The Animal Temperaments

In this third and final installment let’s look at some of the general relationship strategies that we can use when working together with other “animal” temperaments? Listed below are some working ideas to help you better understand your team mates and/or colleagues and become ‘lord of the jungle’:

Lions (D)

Wants You to Be: efficient and to the point

Provide Them With: options, information on what it does and by when, freedom to act, immediate action

General Strategies: be efficient and competent, support their goals and objectives, if you disagree – argue facts and not personal feelings, be precise, time disciplined, well organized, focus on the results or bottom-line, do not waste their time, let them make the decision

Otters (I)

Wants You to Be: stimulating and interesting

Provide Them With: quality, information on how it will enhance their status, increased talent, originality, uniqueness

General Strategies: be interested in them, support their dreams, feelings and opinions, be sociable, do not hurry the discussion – give them a chance to verbalize, try not to argue, don’t deal with details – put it all in writing, do not be shy, agree on the specifics of any arrangement

Golden Retrievers (S)

Wants You to Be: cooperative and pleasant

Provide Them With: assurances, information on how it will affect their circumstances, popular ideas, risk sharing, reliability, assistance in presenting to others

General Strategies: be non-threatening and sincere, show personal interest and support their feelings, don’t push, move along in a slow manner, show that you are listening, be easy-going, assure them that you stand behind any decisions

Beavers (C)

Wants You to Be: accurate and precise

Provide Them With: evidence, information on how they can logically justify, systematic plans, progress reviews

General Strategies: be thorough and well planned, support their thoughtful approach, demonstrate through action rather than words, be exact, organized, and prepared, give them time to verify your words, don’t rush decision making, avoid gimmicks, provide evidence that what you say is true and accurate

I hope these last three articles have been helpful and have added additional “tools” to your management and personal communication “tool belt”. As always, the application of knowledge is often the hardest part. Take what you’ve learned and move out one step at a time. Even if you pick out just one strategy to work on over the next couple weeks, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the results.

Related Links
- Understanding the Animal Temperaments
- Leadership Styles: Dictatorial, Authoritative, Consultative, Participative
- Leadership Styles: When To Use Them
- How Leadership Styles Affect Productivity
- You Might Be A Micromanager If…

Technorati Challenge Stats: Week 4

It has been one month since having set up our Technorati account and the results continue to be minimal growth. Since the last update several things worth mentioning have happened:

1) Had a big spike of 85 readers the day after President’s Day weekend
2) Content volume this last week has not been as consistent as over the last 3 weeks
3) The pinging issue with Technorati seems to have been resolved with a downloaded desktop widget

So, as it stands, the overall influence of blog traffic after creating a Technorati account has been negligible. The decision has been made to continue the challenge for another month under the current blogging conditions and we will see if there is any variance from the last month’s data.

Starting Average Viewers Per Day = 21
Week 1 Average Viewers Per Day = 16
Week 2 Average Viewers Per Day = 23
Week 3 Average Viewers Per Day = 23
Week 4 Average Viewers Per Day = 25

Until next week…

Understanding the Animal Temperaments

The last post (Personality Types: Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever, and Beaver) examined the strengths and weaknesses of each temperament and asked to look at which applied to you personally. Which of the animals did you see the most of in you? Which ones did you see the least of in you? From experience, I have seen this exercise as beneficial to creating successful teamwork, communication, and harmony in the work place and home. This time lets talk about understanding the unique needs and desires of each temperament.

Lions – “Do it now!”, “What’s the point?”

Their Environment: lots of projects, awards on the wall, large calendar, office furniture arranged in a formal way

They Gain Security by: control

Their Pace: fast and decisive

Their Needs: a climate that responds

They’re Irritated by: wasted time, unpreparedness, arguing, blocking results

For Growth They Need to: appear less critical, respect people’s personal worth, develop tolerance for conflict, pace themselves

Avoid With Them: attacking his/her character, telling them what to do, presenting win-lose scenarios

Otters – “Trust me!”, “Lighten up!”

Their Environment: cluttered, awards and slogans on the wall, personal pictures, friendly

They Gain Security by: flexibility

Their Pace: fast and spontaneous

Their Needs: a climate that collaborates

They’re Irritated by: too many facts, too much logic, boring tasks, same old approach, routine, being alone, ignoring their opinions

For Growth They Need to: respect priorities, more logical approach, follow through, get better organized, concentrate on the task at hand

Avoid With Them: negativism, rejection, arguing

Golden Retrievers – “Why change?”, “Let’s work together!”

Their Environment: family pictures, slogans on the wall, personal items, relaxed friendly decorations

They Gain Security by: close relationships

Their Pace: slow and easy

Their Needs: a climate that processes

They’re Irritated by: pushy and aggressive behavior, insincerity, being put on the spot, disrupting the status quo

For Growth They Need to: take risks, delegate to others, confront, develop confidence in others, learn to change and adapt

Avoid With Them: conflict, sudden unplanned risky changes, overloading, confusing

Beavers – “Do it right!”, “Prove it!”

Their Environment: structured and organized, charts and graphs, functional decor, formal seating arrangement

They Gain Security by: preparation

Their Pace: slow and systematic

Their Needs: a climate that describes

They’re Irritated by: people who do not know what they are talking about, lack of attention to detail, surprises, unpredictability

For Growth They Need to: make faster decisions, tolerate conflict, learn to compromise, adjust to change and disorganization

Avoid With Them:criticizing, blunt personal questions, incomplete or inaccurate recommendations

Next time we’ll discuss how best to communicate with and amongst the animal temperaments.

Related Links
- How to communicate amongst the Animal Temperaments
- Leadership Styles: Dictatorial, Authoritative, Consultative, Participative
- Leadership Styles: When To Use Them
- How Leadership Styles Affect Productivity
- You Might Be A Micromanager If…

Personality Types: Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever, and Beaver

When it comes to personality profiles, most have heard of Myers-Briggs, Ned Herrmann’s Whole Brain, Galen’s four temperaments, DiSC assessment, and the Keirsey Temperament Sorter. One of the lesser known profiles, but just as insightful, was developed by Dr. Gary Smalley and Dr. John Trent. They base their personalities around animal characteristics. Not only are these entertaining but they are very easy for children to grasp as well. My wife and I often find ourselves saying, “that person sure is a ‘beaver,’” or “you’re such a ‘lion-otter.’”

While these personality types are certainly broad categories, I find them very easy to remember and communicate. This is extremely beneficial when dealing with family members, employees, and/or people in general. Knowing their temperaments can make the home, work environment, meetings, and projects run much smoother.

Listed below are the characteristics of each temperament and how they line up with Galen’s and the DiSC for comparison:

Lion (Choleric/Dominance)

Strengths– Visionary, practical, productive, strong-willed, independent, decisive, leader

Weaknesses– Cold, domineering, unemotional self-sufficient, unforgiving, sarcastic, cruel

Otter (Sanguine/Influence)

Strengths– Outgoing, responsive, warm, friendly, talkative, enthusiastic, compassionate

Weaknesses– Undisciplined, unproductive, exaggerates, egocentric, unstable

Golden Retriever (Phlegmatic/Steadiness)

Strengths– Calm, easy-going, dependable, quiet, objective, diplomatic, humorous

Weaknesses– Selfish, stingy, procrastinator, unmotivated, indecisive, fearful, worrier

Beaver (Melancholy/Compliance)

Strengths– Analytical, self-disciplined, industrious, organized, aesthetic, sacrificing

Weaknesses– Moody, self-centered, touchy, negative, unsociable, critical, revengeful

Often you’ll find that people have a primary character type and a secondary type. Take a look at yourself. Which one is your primary and which one is your secondary? Some naturally go together and make for a wonderful set of strengths. Also, be senstive to the weaknesses in yourself and in others.

Next time, I’ll post how to better understand the perceived needs of these temperaments and then how to best communicate to them (See Related Links). Until then, enjoy “animal watching”.

Related Links
- Understanding the Animal Temperaments
- Communicating Amongst the Animal Temperaments
- Leadership Styles: Dictatorial, Authoritative, Consultative, Participative
- Leadership Styles: When To Use Them
- How Leadership Styles Affect Productivity
- You Might Be A Micromanager If…

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Joost™ You and Me

I had pondered posting about Joost™ several weeks back, but there already seemed to be a glut of info out there regarding this exciting new venture. Well, there are a couple new developments worth noting: 1) Joost Beta version for Intel-based Macs 2) Joost signing a deal with Viacom.

No matter how you’ve know the technology, Skype TV, The Venice Project, or this latest iteration, Joost, you cannot ignore the fact that we’re on the verge of something ground breaking. How we consume media and entertainment will be breaking down boundaries worldwide (Bit Torrent beware).

Joost Beta has been available for Windows PC’s for some time but on February 16 the Mac version hit the Web. Version 8.0, as it was called, had some bugs and, as early as 2 days ago, after a couple fixes were made the Mac Joost Beta 8.0.1 was released anew. If you have an Intel-based Mac and are interested in Joost, you will need to apply to become a Beta tester.

The second piece of news, and of wide ranging effect, is the deal Joost signed with Viacom. After pulling back from talks with Google/YouTube, Viacom decided to go with Joost.

According to the statement from Viacom, the initial programming offerings will be as follows: MTV will provide shows, both past and present, including Laguna Beach, Beavis & Butthead, Real World, Punk’d and My Super Sweet Sixteen. Comedy Central’s offerings will include episodes from Stella, CCP’s and Freak Show. Nickelodeon, CMT, MTV2, Logo, Spike TV, mtvU, and Gametrailers.com will also be onboard. VH1 will offer episodes of Flavor of Love, Surreal Life, and I Love New York. BET’s offerings will include Beef, DMX: Soul of a Man, Comic View and recent smash hit American Gangster.

Certainly this partnership will have significant ramifications for the future of broadcasting. And don’t you know DRM will become an even more heated ongoing conversation as well.

Yet, what I am especially excited about is the implications for creative learning. I can see in the near future, handheld hardware that allows you access not only Web sites but broadband content on the fly. Imagine trying to explain a concept or experience or “how-to” while having lunch with an acquaintance. Your new friend doesn’t quite understanding what you’re trying to communicate until you pull out your device and, bingo, virtual class is in session! That’s cool one-on-one sharing — Joost you and me.

Unique By-Product of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

Many have seen ABC Network’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition…maybe, you’ve even been a participant. The heart warming stories of transformed lives as a result of generous service and the giving of time, talents, and resources touch us at the core of our being. A unique by-product of this show results in extreme opportunities. Opportunities for the youth that are so graciously impacted by all involved. And what is that by-product? One word: Focus.

As a child and adolescent I lacked focus. You can probably tell that from this blog — it can be all over the place at times. However, when I did focus there were incredible leaps in maturity, motivation, perseverance, and opportunity.

Growing up, how many of us dreamed of being nurses, doctors, race car drivers, or firemen? Are we fulfilling those dreams today? Most often the answer is, “No”. As we grew up our playing habits, toys, and bedrooms changed as our interests changed. But, what if today’s youth could be better in touch with themselves and their unique gifts and talents? With a little guidance from parents, caring family members, and friends, one could pinpoint their creative strengths and tap into what it is that gets them “jazzed” and excited.

Now, I look at the families on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I see the arduous yet gratifying task the designers and builders have of interviewing each of the young family members to find out their dreams, interests, hopes, and desires. And what happens next, can only be called magical. The family returns from a paid vacation to find their first steps on the “yellow brick road” of opportunity laid out for them!

Looking at what these young adults return to, I think it is going to be very hard for some of them to change their bedrooms around, should their interests change. But, what if they stayed focused? What if every time they woke to their surroundings they were inspired to live the dreams they have? Imagine the internal drive? Imagine the intensity? Imagine the focus? Therein lies incredible potential for the future…for their future and ours.

Hang Onto Your Dreams
I don’t know if the producers of the show intended for this focus-related outcome. Nevertheless, we all can benefit by it. Dream BIG! Focus on your given creative strengths and talents. Go and make the future more than just a home redesign. Here’s a chance to uniquely impact the world with an extreme makeover.

Guys Can Multi-Task Too #5

Ever see a guy march off to the Restroom with a book, paper, or magazine in hand? Granted this is a more common occurance at home than in public but this is one of the most repeatable forms of guys multi-tasking.

Ever heard a guy talking on his mobile phone in the Restroom? Same thing… he’s multi-tasking. He is doing business.

See, guys can multi-task too.

Apple OS 10.5 – The Vista Killer?

With Microsoft’s recent release of Vista, (see previous post, Microsoft Vista – The “Wow!” Starts?) questions have continued bubbling about Apple’s new OS release since it’s sneak peek last August. Now news is out that the latest version, named Leopard, which was slated for Spring 2007, may arrive as early as this March. Will this be the new benchmark for PC operating systems? The roll-out, marketing, support, and time will tell.

While you wait, check out Leopard for yourself and see what you think. >>

Guys Can Multi-Task Too #21

A group of guys watching the latest sports broadcast, eating junk food, and carrying on a conversation that involves statistics, facts, and figures is a thing of beauty. It’s guys multi-tasking in their optimum environment. The only thing that could possibly hamper this exquisite form of multi-tasking is the introduction of alcohol. Studies show that once adult beverages are introduced into this environment, the amount of multi-tasking is cut in half.

See, guys can multi-task too.

Relationships Take Guts

Why do we shy away from relational conflict? Certainly, no one likes to be vulnerable and have hurt emotions. Could it also be, we’re not experienced in dealing with conflict in a healthy manner? The models we’ve read in novels and seen on television and in the cinema scream dysfunction and we parrot the same because we do not know any better.

In today’s virtual world, relationships are experienced in real-time, over the phone, through letters and emails, and instant and text messaging. A virtual relationship is a stepping stone toward a real, face-to-face relationship. Though poor in the longterm, a virtual relationship can be a start. Unfortunately, virtual relationships are also becoming the finish of many relationships.

I read in the Wall Street Journal about a woman who had her love relationship broken via mobile text message — this story appeared in the Valentine’s Day issue no less! Author, Jeffrey Zaslow, made a good observation, “…interpersonal relationships today are often less personal and more cowardly than they used to be.”

Face-to-face relationships are hard but worth the risk. They are at times messy but worth it in the end. There is a unique part of us all that longs for intimacy – to know someone inside and out and to be known inside and out. We all want someone to share our hopes, dreams, fears, and anxieties without the threat of rejection. Yet, relationships take work and that is where we falter. Love relationships, marriage relationships, work relationships, family relationships…they all take work. Unfortunately, in our self-service culture of “I want it now” we opt for speed and efficiency over patience and quality. The fact is, it takes guts. Are you willing to take a stand? Roll up your sleeves and do the hard work.

Technorati Challenge Stats: Week 3

Here we are with three weeks under our belt after having set up our Technorati account. This week was unique in that I was away on a trip and had not posted for three days straight. Now, I realize this can be the “death nell” for any blogger but, life must go on. It is easy to feel as though you’re chained to your computer in order to get out posts on a daily basis. Actually, it was good to have a break.

Another unique tweak this last week was playing with Tags within WordPress. While looking at appropriate posts and tagging, I made some adjustments and had a spike in readers. This is good for the blog, but not good for Technorati for which this challenge was unofficially undertaken. The increase in traffic was more from the WordPress side than from the Technorati side. This does not bode well for Technorati.

A final item I have noticed over these last weeks is the Ping Page set up by Technorati does not seem near as expedient as the initial spider crawl had been when setting up the account. When I update the blog and ping from Technorati it will not take effect for, from what I have noted, several hours to as long as a couple days. Yet, in spite of all this, according to Technorati Ranking, my blog has moved 500,000 spaces better than when we started — go figure.

Starting Average Viewers Per Day = 21
Week 1 Average Viewers Per Day = 16
Week 2 Average Viewers Per Day = 23
Week 3 Average Viewers Per Day = 23

The saga continues next week.

Note: Right before I completed this post, I checked back at Technorati.com and found that my last ping was “11 hours” ago but my last post was crawled “7 days” ago. I had posted additional content on 4 of those “7″ days — what’s up with that, Technorati? And, believe me, I am not caching the pages. I go for a clean refresh everytime I access the site and have cleared my browser cache to make sure the page was the most recent.

“Life is Relationships”

I heard this phrase from an acquaintance once and over the years the profundity of it has “hit home” many times. The “things” of life are temporal; your job, your car, house, real estate, toys, gadgets, furniture, clothes, gizmos, etcetera. The relationships you have and the ones you make are of lasting value. Your jobs, titles, and prestige will come and go, but the people who you interact with can and will be attached to you for the rest of your mortal life. This, especially, includes family relationships. Fight hard to keep, maintain, and in some cases, reconcile your relationships.

When in all boils down, as the saying goes, “it’s who you know, not what you know” that counts.

Communication is Still Key

I recently completed a contract job and during the “post mortem” meeting the topic of communication came up. Communication styles, expectations, and availability were the topics of the conversation. It never ceases to amaze me that all around the world we “flap our lips” everyday in verbal communication but are we truly understanding each other?

Effective communication is not natural to us. It is something we need to work on everyday. Yet, because we “communicate” every day we do not feel the need to work on improving this area. Our tendency is to converse and share information in a way that is familiar to us and expect it to be the same with those whom we interact with.

In our fast paced world clear and effective communication is a must. We live or die by how well we communicate. And, depending on your environment, communication can take several forms: verbal, non-verbal, email, phone, memos and letters, instant messaging, text messaging, video conferencing, VoIP, and more. Personal preferences, cultural differences, and accessibility all factor in. Communicating takes work but, those who are wise will invest the time and energy to make this an everyday priority. Your work, your relationships, your family, and your very life may depend on it.

A main ingredient of communication is silence and listening. This is almost always ignored. We all have something to say. When others are talking to us, instead of listening we’re thinking of what we want to say next. Ever been guilty of that?

Shhh…
Listed below are keys to incredible communication through listening. I know it is hard but, avoid the temptation to interrupt and use the principles below:

Listening With Your Eyes
Body language communicates more than words often do. Look at your body language as well as the person you’re talking with. Also, look into the eyes of the person. Do not look at other things around you — this communicates you’re not attentive, interested, or respecting what the other person is saying.

Listening With Your Ears
Focus on what the other person is saying by giving your full attention. Don’t talk back, although some probing questions may be relevant to get clarity (it also tells the other person that you are listening).

Listening With Your Feelings
Try as best as you can to “read between the lines” of what the other person is saying. Look to understand their feelings about the topic. As Stephen Covey says, “Seek to understand before being understood.”

For more on these topics and others, see Alec Mackenzie’s classic best seller, The Time Trap, Section Two: Biggest Time Wasters – Poor Communication.