Could This Be You?

Saw this on a friends feed and had to post. Can you relate?

Thanks to: Comics.com | Pearls Before Swine

FoxTrot and iPad

Saw this and had to share. I can relate to the humor of Bill Amend’s FoxTrot.

Humorous Word-Play To Start Your Day

Got this from my friend Chris, this morning. Enjoy the play on words.

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference .  He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.  When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
20. A backward poet writes inverse.
21. In democracy it’s your vote that counts.  In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
23. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Quotable Quotes – On Youth

Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young.
- J.K. Rowling

The old repeat themselves and the young have nothing to say. The boredom is mutual.
- Jacques Bainville

Not everyone grows to be old, but everyone has been younger than he is now.
- Evelyn Waugh

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.
- Beverly Sills

Speed Reading And Weird Minds

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a wreid mnid too. Seped rnadieg sluohd be a bezere!

Top 12 Poor Excuses Not To Go In To Work

I saw this collection of humorous excuses that Patrick Erwin put together on the CareerBuilder Job Blog. Do not try these at home unless you want to spend time looking for a new job at CareerBuilder :)

What are some of the most outrageous excuses (and by excuses, we mean ‘lies’) that an employee has give as a reason for their absence? Here’s the best of the best:

• Employee didn’t want to lose the parking space in front of his house.
• Employee hit a turkey while riding a bike.
• Employee said he had a heart attack early that morning, but that he was “all better now.”
• Employee donated too much blood.
• Employee’s dog was stressed out after a family reunion.
• Employee was kicked by a deer.
• Employee contracted mono after kissing a mailroom intern at the company holiday party and suggested the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him.
• Employee swallowed too much mouthwash.
• Employee’s wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work.
• Employee’s toe was injured when a soda can fell out of the refrigerator.
• Employee was up all night because the police were investigating the death of someone discovered behind her house.
• Employee’s psychic told her to stay home.

Jaggedsmile Now On WeirdGuy Blog

Had your Jagged Smile today? If not, close friend and illustrator, Jeff Gregory, will be showing up in the side bar on a weekly basis. You’re bound to be captivated and tickled by his mental offspring.

If your day is sour, you need a jagged smile. If your boss has got you down, you need a jagged smile. If you have to get a mid-afternoon pick-me-up, you need a jagged smile. If the doctor just gave you bad news, you need a jagged smile.

Jagged Smile — humorous doodles and ramblings from a mind that no one should dare to get inside of. Venture at your own risk… and have fun! (See side bar for more)

Quotable Quote – Common Sense

The thing about common sense is…it’s not that common.
- Voltaire [paraphrased]

WeirdGuy Blog Needs You!

Message From Eric - a.k.a. the WeirdGuy

As a reader of WeirdGuy blog I’d like to humbly ask you to help me. I have a short 10 question survey running from August 28 – September 7, 2008 on Zoomerang.  The survey should take 2-3 minutes to run through. Your thoughtful responses will aid me in future developments for this blog.

I realize I am asking you to volunteer your time, but I value your opinion. Please follow the link provided today — the survey is only available for 10 days.

And, if the survey takes longer than 2-3 minutes then you can feel free to spam me with your hate mail.

Thank you for your patronage…can I say “patronage”?…whatever, you know what I mean.

By the way, I’ll reveal the findings here on WeirdGuy when the survey is up, so if you want your response to count, now is the time to act…now! If you do not care, then what are you doing here at WeirdGuy blog to begin with?

100 Years Of Animation

Celebrate with me one of the most creative and influential mediums of our time – animation!

One hundred years ago today, the first animated film of all time was released to the public. Fantasmagorie was created over the course of four months by French caricature artist Émile Cohl, who became known as “The Father of the Animated Cartoon”.
(From /film) Read more…

Here’s the original film as seen on YouTube.

Here’s the 2008 Remake of Fantasmagorie with additional animated characters. Fun!

Bubble Wrap Calendars — Why Didn’t I Think Of That?

Your friend, co-worker, or roommate gets a package. When they open it you see the object protectively shielded in bubble wrap. Then the urge overtakes you and you start popping the small air-filled cells as quickly as you can. Oh, what a delight. It reminds you of your childhood, but then your parents were quick to say, “would you stop making that noise?” You look over and your friend has a similar look on their face. Oh well, some things never change.

Yet, you can still have fun — every day of the year with Bubble Wrap calendars! Who’s gonna stop you now? You can always say, “sorry, I was just check off my calendar.” :)

See more about Bubble Wrap Calendars

One Semester of Spanish Love Song (Video)

Saw this the other day and had to share. I have to give them an “A” for originality and creativity. So, what does this have to do with WeirdGuy and learning? Well, it certainly fits the creativity bill and, as for learning, the guy should have spent more time learning Spanish if he wanted to woo his Señorita properly.

Watch it for yourself — it’s hilarious!

Sushi – The Japanese Tradition (Funny Video)

I’ve been writing a lot of reviews over on Yelp.com about the restaurants I have visited. One of my favorite foods is sushi. When I think of sushi, I think of all the friends I have exposed to this Japanese tradition. Some love it while some hate it. Regardless, you can’t help but think, “How would the Japanese describe this to westerners?” Enter YouTube! A friend from Japan first told me about this hilarious movie, made by Nihon-jin (japanese people) for all of us Gaijin (foreigners). Enjoy!

Your Virtual iPhone Frenzy

By E. Brown

Okay, I got one response to My Virtual iPhone Revisited… and a great link to this iPhone movie. Any other takers?

BTW- Tom, thanks for the laugh :D

Time Off WeirdGuy Blog – Just One Week

By E. Brown

I’ll be taking a week off to focus on closing out a project (July 28-August 1). More to come from the lessons learned during this engagement. It’s a really cool online course with custom hooks into a client app. The back-end was designed as “plug and play” so content can quickly and easily be swapped out while still being applicable to the course testing and grading scenarios.

See you in a week.

Quotable Quote

No one gives advice with more enthusiasm than an ignorant person.
–Unknown

Advice On How To Stay Young

1. Try everything twice.

On Madams tombstone (of Whelan’s and Madam) she said she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice…loved it both times!

2. Keep only cheerful friends.

The grouches pull you down. (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches)

3. Keep learning!

Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long, and loud.

Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.

6. The tears happen.

Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love.

Whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health.

If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don’t take guilt trips.

Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity!

11. Forgive now those who made you cry…you might not get a second time.

Weird Week In Review – June 13

In case you missed last week, here is your one stop review of all things from WeirdGuy blog. Have fun!

Creativity, Cars, And Ninja Cows

Big Buck Bunny – Buy Or Download

Steampunk Sewer Cleaner

Telecommuting: How To Promote It

Related Links
- Weird Week In Review (June 6)
- Weird Week In Review (May 30)
- Weird Week In Review (May 23)

Share This With Others

Creativity, Cars, And Ninja Cows

I came across this old drawing that my friend, Jeff at Jaggedsmile, did after a conversation we had. You see, when my wife and I used to travel, in the BK (Before Kids) days, she told me about a game she used to play with her sister when they traveled. They used to look out their side of the car and count cows. The person with the most cows at the end of the trip was the winner. On a particular trip we took in through southeast we revived this old game for fun. At the end of our trip, my wife informed me she had counted several hundred cows. Not to be outdone I told her I has counted about a hundred that were visible, while the remaining several hundred were “ninja cows” practicing their camouflage skills. Chick-fil-A would have loved it!

Top 10 Excuses To Stay In A Bad Workplace

I just saw this article at The Chief Happiness Officer. After having recently talked with friends that are in bad work environments, I thought this would be appropriate to post. Enjoy!

If you’re unhappy at work, I’m sure that the thought “Man, I really should quit!” crosses your mind occasionally.

So why don’t you?

Even if you long desperately to quit, to get away from your horrible workplace, annoying co-workers or abusive managers, you may hesitate to actually do anything about it, because right on the heels of that impulse come a lot of other thoughts that hold you back from quitting.

Each of these excuses may sound to you like the voice of sanity, offering perfectly good reasons why it is in fact better to stay and endure that bad job just a little longer, but look a little closer, and they don’t really hold up. What they do instead is keep you trapped in a job that is slowly but surely wearing you down.

Here are 10 of the most common bad excuses for staying in a bad job.

#1 “Things might get better”

That jerk manager might be promoted out of there. That annoying co-worker could quit.That mound of overwork could suddenly disappear.

On the other hand, things might also get worse. Or they might not change at all. If you’ve already done your best to improve your job situations and nothing’s happened, just waiting around for things to improve by themselves make little sense.

#2 “My boss is such a jerk but if I quit now, he wins.”

Who cares. This is not about winning or losing, this is your life. Move on, already.

#3 “I’m not a quitter.”

Well guess what these somewhat successful people have in common: Larry Page, Sergey Brin, Tiger Woords, Reese Witherspoon, John McEnroe and John Steinbeck?

More…